CONFIDENCE VS. CONTROL

Once during a mental performance workshop, I asked a group of young adult soccer players, “when do you feel most confident?” … the responses varied, but one in particular stood out to me, she said, “when I am driving”, now mind you this group had just reached the driving age and could not have had a driver's license for more than a year. So, I began to wonder why, and asked the athlete, how come? Why driving? She said, “because that is when I feel in control.”

Let's talk about it.

This then led to a conversation on confidence vs. control. Can you only be confident when you feel in control? Are the two reliant upon one another? Well, in my professional opinion, true confidence must arise when you have no control in order to be battle tested, proved, tried and true. What happens when factors outside of your control enter into your world, do you trust yourself enough to execute the skills? Many times, the misconception exists, that depending on the situation, this will determine my own confidence, and thus determine my success. The error in this thinking: confidence becomes contingent. Contingent upon the stars, moon and sun aligning, contingent upon me feeling good, contingent upon the team I am playing… the fact is that true confidence is when you cannot control all the variables yet can rely on the training and preparation you have done to carry you.

So how do we get there? How do we become consistent? How do we enforce this trust in oneself? How do we build confidence in an environment where so many factors are out of our control?

Confidence vs. Control

1. Understanding Confidence:

   • Definition: Confidence often comes from a deep trust in one's abilities, skills, and preparation, rather than solely from the control one has over external factors.

   • Misconception: Many athletes and individuals believe that confidence is directly tied to feeling in control of every aspect of their environment. However, true confidence is more about trust in oneself when faced with uncertainty.

2. The Role of Control:

   • Perception of Control: Feeling in control can indeed boost confidence, as seen in your example of the athlete feeling confident while driving due to the perceived control over the vehicle.

   • Limitations: In high-stakes environments, like sports, full control is often impossible. The challenge is to maintain confidence even when not everything is under one’s control.

Building True Confidence

1. Reframe Limiting Beliefs:

   • Perspective Shift: By viewing challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than as reflections of one’s inadequacy, individuals can build resilience and long-term confidence.

   • Time and Effort: Emphasize the importance of the time invested in training and skill development. Confidence should be seen as a product of persistent effort rather than a fleeting feeling.

2. Identify Controllables:

   • Focus on What You Can Control: This involves distinguishing between what can be influenced (e.g., effort, attitude, preparation) and what cannot (e.g., weather conditions, opponent’s performance).

   • Efficient Energy Use: Direct your mental energy towards the aspects you can control. This allows for better performance and reduces the stress of trying to manage the unmanageable.

3. Effective Self-Talk:

   • Supportive Dialogue: Develop a repertoire of positive, instructional, and motivational self-talk phrases that reinforce your skills and mindset.

   • Application: Use self-talk to manage anxiety, maintain focus, and remind yourself of your strengths and preparation.

Practical Strategies

1. Routine and Rituals:

   • Establishing pre-performance routines or rituals can help in managing the uncertainty and maintaining focus on controllable factors.

2. Visualization Techniques:

   • Regularly visualize successful outcomes and effective execution of skills. This can help reinforce confidence even when external factors are not ideal.

3. Goal Setting:

   • Set both short-term and long-term goals. Short-term goals can focus on aspects you can control and give a sense of progress, while long-term goals provide a bigger picture of your development.

4. Reflective Practice:

   • After performances or training sessions, reflect on what went well and what could be improved. This helps in adjusting your strategies and reinforcing your confidence based on practical experiences.

Hopefully you found this information helpful. If you would like to see how mental performance consulting can help you achieve your goals and reach your greatest potential, please reach out via email to coach@renewperformance.org