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Comparison Kills Confidence

We all do it. We compare. We compare our body, we compare our car, our house, our abilities, our intelligence. You name it, we have probably compared it at some point in our lives. While at times comparison can be productive, as in sports or a competition, when you are facing an opponent, you might compare in order to PREPARE. However, this is not always the case. Most of the times comparison happens on a subconscious level and only leads to a shift in focus. A focus on the lack of, or inability to, which leads to insecurities that surface and doubt to take over. If we can't re-shift our focus in this moment, then we continue down this rabbit trail meanwhile our confidence is slipping away and we either end up overcompensating and putting more pressure on ourselves to perform leading to anxiety or quitting all together out of frustration. Neither of which are a healthy balance!

So, what do we do? How do we not compare? It is only a natural human aspect to do so. However, the difference is whether it is causing the shift in focus as mentioned above. Are you focusing on all the things that you don't have? OR can you focus on what you do have and look for the strengths and qualities that make you an asset? Is your comparison for a specific purpose in order to prepare? If your focus is on the wrong things, and there is no purpose for comparison, then we need to let it go. Letting it go means we must first become aware which usually happens by the process of recognizing your emotions, that you are unhappy or frustrated, then intentionally shifting focus to the good qualities. We can do this first, by noting in a journal or writing down all of our strengths, and victories (no matter how small), and reflecting on these when needed. Secondly, we can use gratitude as a means to keep perspective. This will help prevent you from slipping into comparison mode!

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